I recently saw a report showing how large city newspapers use political correctness in their references to people. It was fascinating to see how they worked so hard not to stereotype, misname or put one gender, race, organization, religion or anything else they can think of ahead of another. This article stated so many of these categories existed the reporters had to refer to a large book for the proper designations.

So with their new politically correct definitions in mind I want all of you to know I’m not an older, white, balding male with a middle age spread. No sir, I am now an overly healthy, European-American, senior adult who is follically challenged. This has a lot of possibilities in justifying many bad habits, not just overeating, doesn’t it? 

Of course, I want my true heritage as a Danish-American expressed in this politically correct era, not just a general European reference. When I mentioned this to my sweet wife she said that was the truth. I was shocked she actually agreed with me until she added I have eaten so many danishes I was probably turning into one. 

I was going to mention I have a lot of English heritage as well, but I’ve eaten too many of their muffins and didn’t want to hear any more observations from my sweetie. I’m just glad I don’t have a Turkish background or she would have a field day.

 Anyway, I think I’ll apply this correctness language to my preaching and see how it comes out. No longer will I preach on sinners but refer to folks as pro-Satan supporters. Those who are reprobates will become persons who are spiritually challenged and evil will now be a social dysfunctional event. Even heresy could simply become a different Biblical perspective based on subjective interpretation. Boy, a couple of big words here and there sure takes away any conviction of right and wrong.

So now I’m no longer a Baptist preacher and pastor. Instead I have designated myself as a denominationally identified religious person who uses oration and social services to influence people into radical lifestyles. I guess that makes me a pro-mono-deist, right-wing moralist who takes a traditionalist view of social mores. In other words, I believe in one God, the 10 Commandments and feel folks ought to act right, live right and get saved. Boy, this political correctness stuff can really cloud up simple facts, can’t it?

The thing I like about scripture is it doesn’t beat around the bush when it confronts issues. Sin is called sin; evil is seen as evil; and a person is a free moral agent who has responsibility and accountability. 

John called the Pharisees snakes, Paul called the Galatians foolish and Jesus said if you don’t repent then you perish. That’s pretty straight talk in anyone’s language. So say what you mean and mean what you say.

After I showed these definitions to my wife she just rolled her eyes and told me I was still just a chubby Baptist preacher who needed a few less danishes and a lot more dieting. I’ll have to admit I am a bit caloric challenged with a sugar addictive habit that requires large amounts of carbohydrates in the form of M&Ms. However, I still like the term Baptist preacher.

This Sunday don’t be an optional participant with alternative priorities in relation to your religiously designated house of worship. In simple, plain language, get out of the bed, get the kids ready and be in church where you belong. That’s simple enough to understand, isn’t it?

Dr. Gerald Hallmark is a retired minster living in Alexander City whose column appears here each Friday.