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Johnny Football: The best player in SEC history

Published 5:39pm Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I have seen a lot of football. I have seen some incredible players. More specifically, I have seen incredible quarterbacks.
I have seen fire, and I have seen rain. But that’s irrelevant.
I have now seen the best … player … in SEC history.
Johnny Manziel is the laboratory created hybrid of John Elway and a very fast leprechaun.
A magician that would make Houdini abandon the craft. A total freak show in a league of freakish monsters.
Even given the SEC’s recent run of historically fantastic players, Manziel stands alone.
Tim Tebow? Yeah, he was really good and possibly the most decorated player in college football history, but he cannot compare talent-wise.
For the record, Tim seems like a much nicer guy than Johnny.
Cam Newton? An awe-inspiring single season, but Manziel has a season of Newton-like highlights in a half.
Bo Jackson? Herschel Walker? Derrick Thomas? All awesome, but all fall short of the Wizard of (the opposite of) West Texas.
Sacrilege you say? Hey, I can’t believe I am saying it!
I just know I believe it.
Consider this fact: Johnny Manziel has accounted for 907 yards against Alabama in two games played versus the Tide.
That is more than 20% of the 4,340 yards ‘Bama has given up in the last 16 games!
A.J. McCarron, arguably the best QB in UA history, had a career- high 334 yards in the game.
You know what Manziel calls that number? “The first half”.
Manziel had over 550 yards of total offense against Alabama; a Nick-Saban-had-all-summer-to-prepare Alabama.
Folks, that is unbelievable any way you spin it.
I before I continue lauding Johnny Football with praise, please remember I cannot stand him off the field.
In fact, I cannot stand him on it during dead ball moments.
His punkish antics and child-like taunts drive me nuts.
But on the field, I have never seen anything like him.
It would have been a dream of mine to see him hit solidly (and legally) just one time Saturday.
That impish grin was begging to be wiped off of his young, round face.
Man, that would have been sooooooo sweet.
Yet, none of us knew exactly how impossible connecting with a solid hit on Manziel was.
Making square contact with Manziel is like finding the last digit of pi while riding a rainbow.
You can try  it, but you’ll be there all day and just wind up tired and frustrated.
Plus, you can’t ride rainbows.
Prior to the game last Saturday, pundits kept screaming that the key is to keep Manziel in the pocket.
Force him to be a pro-style passer they said.
First of all, containing Manziel is like trying to play Candy Crush colorblind: it can be done, it’s just harder than normal.
Secondly, that plan didn’t work. Manziel was throwing darts on ‘Bama’s D all afternoon.
You don’t have to remind me that he doesn’t have so much as a Division Championship to his name.
I know all of his hardware is individual. Heck, he didn’t even beat Alabama Saturday.
I simply choose to not punish him for A&M’s unbelievable ineptitude on defense.
The Aggies’ defense couldn’t stop Miley Cyrus from putting on church clothes.
If Manziel had a CJ Moseley or Nick Fairley … wait …  scratch that.
I don’t want to think how good the Aggies would be under those scenarios.
Let’s just enjoy Manziel between the lines.
For the sake of all other SEC teams, we may only have him for the rest of this season.
Robinson is a sports columnist for The Outlook.