unconscious

Archived Story

Last year’s Christmas card will be tough to beat

Published 11:53am Friday, November 23, 2012

It is Black Friday.  Many of you have been up all night elbowing people out of the way at Wal-Mart. I hope no one is currently bleeding.

There is a plethora (word use for JD Cowart) of topics to discuss and holiday parties to prepare for. However, my favorite thing about the holidays is tacky Christmas sweaters and Christmas cards. I love sending them, and I love receiving them.

Last year, we sent out the most epic Christmas card of all time.  In fact, I fear that John and I will be unable to top it. Ever.

Our first Christmas card as a married couple consisted of a sweet shot from our honeymoon circa 2010 in Turks and Caicos. It was pretty… yet basic.

Year 2 – we went for shock value and mailed out two versions. I sent 30 normal cards and reserved 10 for my “special” friends.

The normal card featured our Great Dane, Mona, wrapped up in Christmas lights.  It was easier than you might think because she is so daggum lazy. She withstood my nonsense, and I had to move fast because I used those old timey looking lights that get hot. Try photographing Christmas lights and getting the flash right. It is ridiculous.

I edited the photo to be black and white and added a modern font. I was pleased, and Mona was her usual photogenic and regal self.

The photo for the second card came about by happenstance. Do you recall the snowfall we had during the winter of 2010-11? John and I were at the lake and ran outside barefoot, in our pajamas, with hair on end and no make-up (me, not John), to snap a photo. Mona ran outside too …

Fast forward several months to John flipping through pictures on the laptop and coming across our photo from that fateful day…

There we were, smiling, happy, John’s arm stretched in the ever popular self photo shot. The snowy lakeshore is behind us … and so is our photo bomber, Mona. So tiny she was, you easily might overlook her. Black, back all hunched up … and taking a huge poop in our picture!

It was the funniest thing we had ever seen in our lives, and we knew we had our 2011 Christmas card right at our hands. No professional photo shoot necessary.

I edited it so that it appeared very traditional and classy, also in black and white. It was mailed to a select few that I knew had a sense of humor, as not everyone thinks doo doo is funny.

It was a huge hit.

We already know what we are doing this year, and we may have to give Mona a Benadryl. Don’t judge.

I encourage you all to think outside the box this year on your cards. Please send me a Christmas card here at TPI or an E-card to lacey.howell@alexcityoutlook.com. I may even publish a few of them. But know I have high standards.

Keep me in the loop of upcoming Christmas parties!

Howell works as an advertising representative for Tallapoosa Publishers, Inc., in addition to writing this column. Contact Howell at lacey.howell@alexcityoutlook.com to keep her In the Loop of events.

Editor's Picks

Kilgore ‘all aboard’ for holiday fun

  Rodney Kilgore has spent the last four years portraying popular railroad conductors. For most of the year, he wears striped overalls and goes to ... Read more

BRHS’ Fuller qualifies for USA Jr. Team

A Benjamin Russell Wildcat now represents the U.S.A for track and field. Read more