Archived Story

Marriage takes getting used to

Published 11:36am Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My husband, Dane, and I celebrated our six-month anniversary Sunday.

I’m a journalist; I know there’s technically no such thing as a six-month anniversary, but it still seemed like a good excuse to eat a nice dinner and laugh about everything that’s happened post-April 28.

We’ve packed a lot into such a short time: we’ve built a house, traveled to New Orleans, moved, written 1,000 thank-you notes, spent a week at Smith Lake, made new friends and I’ve taken a completely different job in a brand new city.

Six months may not sound like an achievement, but several of the 70 times I had to remind him what a coaster was, I debated if it was a milestone we’d ever reach.

In honor of surviving the first six months of marriage, I decided I’d share a few of the insights I’ve gained.

1. One checking account is a big adjustment: Dane and I dated most of my time at Auburn, but we never shared a checking account until we got married. Dane doesn’t have any sisters. He thinks a “good” haircut should cost no more than $16, and you can get a “pretty good” one for $7.99. He doesn’t understand why women don’t purchase all their make-up from the Dollar Tree, and he has no idea why in the world I need so much of it. Needless to say the first month he could see my exact spending habits – we weren’t a happy couple. I don’t spend an excessive amount of money by any stretch of the imagination, but my definition of necessary and his differ a little.

2. “Clean” does not have a universal meaning: If the stairs haven’t been vacuumed, all the beds made and the floors mopped, the house isn’t clean, in my opinion. Dane sees absolutely no reason why we should make the bed every day and thinks dusting furniture should be a biannual activity. Embarrassingly enough, our most common argument in the past six months has been why is it so difficult for Dane to return the remote to the decorative tray it is suppose to live in on the coffee table.

3. Cute, quirky interests may become annoying: When Dane and I were dating and living in separate houses, I thought his devout love of the Professional Golfers’ Association was endearing. I come from a long line of avid golfers, so spending Sunday afternoon watching the Master’s is a family tradition I’ve always enjoyed. But watching every single PGA tournament that is ever broadcast on TV now that we share a residence makes me want to go Elin Woods on the cable box.

4. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be fun: At our wedding I was asked 50 times what I would be serving for our first dinner as husband and wife. I had grand plans of using all of our beautiful wedding gifts to serve the perfect dinner to my new husband. April 29 we wound up at Momma Goldberg’s eating deli sandwiches, swapping wedding stories and sharing a pitcher of beer with our best friends. It wasn’t Southern Living worthy, but it was fun.

5. Laugh a lot: I insisted all of Dane’s hobby supplies live in our garage – so it is chock full of tools, golf clubs and camping equipment. One morning while running late to work I backed out of the garage in a hurry. In my haste I forgot to shut the garage door. Dane came home that evening and realized his prized possessions, which he describes as being “banished to the garage,” had been exposed all day long. After I received his text message informing me of my error, I expected him to be fuming when I got home. Instead he looked up from making dinner, smiled and said, “Hey, you know that alarm system you wanted only works if you remember to close the doors, right?” I laughed and looked right past the marinara sauce he was splattering on my backsplash.

Overall, it has been a great six months, and I’m looking forward to learning a lot more about marriage in the many months that follow.

My husband is hardworking, smart and incredibly sweet, and I am so blessed to be married to the love of my life – even if he can’t remember where the remote goes.

Pemberton is a staff writer for The Outlook.

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