The Alexander City Outlook

Bragging rights and pink slips: college football’s version of ‘The Last Hurrah’

This is the week everyone has been waiting for — or not. For some, it is the end of the season, and for others, they must endure another week of questions without answers. This is the week that brings out the best or worst in us when it comes to rivalries.

Here is the redundant question of the week, “Are you for Auburn or Alabama?” Actually, I am for a better nation and a boost in our economy, but no one is asking me those questions.

If you were to pin me down, I would tell you that I am a USC Trojan fan, and I am hoping we rebound and beat UCLA this Saturday evening.

As far as the Tide-Tigers thing goes, I will sit on the fence with this one, the view is much better and I enjoy keeping my sanity.

Speaking of sanity, how about that Les Miles! He has officially stepped into the twilight zone of head football coaches. My first, second and third impressions of Miles are all the same: the guy is an idiot as a head coach. I know the Vatican has predicted that we will be inhabited by aliens within the next 10 years, but Miles is way ahead of the curve with this one — he had a pocket study-guide of Rosetta Stone Alien Ware sticking out of his back pocket during his latest blunder on the sidelines. Hey Les, you still have three times out remaining!

Sometimes, I wonder whether sports is society’s way of identifying morons. Just a figure of speech of course, for the sports fans who lose a grip on reality because someone or some team loses a game.

Sure, some of its backlash — remember, we hate the other team and its fans. They are obnoxious, over-the-top and down on life when the other team wins.

For the Tiger and Tide fans, how would you like to be a Vandy fan right now? For my Trojan brethren, quit the spoiled act and continue to “Fight On.”

Whether you are a Bama fan, Tigers fan, or a fan of another team, life will go on and in college football. Shortsightedness is a plague.

How would you like to be Ari Fleischer? He has been hired by the new BCS Executive Director Bill Hancock to “highlight the positive aspects of the BCS.” This may be the hardest challenge that the former presidential press secretary has taken on in his career.

Dateline South Bend: I hear that Charlie Weiss would not be surprised if he were fired — brilliant Chuck, simply brilliant.

Dateline Las Vegas: Texas Hold ‘em has just been replaced by Coaches Roulette. Contact Mark Richt, Les Miles, Charlie Weiss and Bobby Bowden for game rules.

According to the latest ESPN and Fox Sports reports, the Pac-10 conference is the best conference this year. According to the news east of the Mississippi River, the SEC is the only conference in college football. Most turn off their TV sets around 8 p.m.

Chomp on this: I heard a rumor that Florida may ask for a return game with the likes of a Charleston-Southern, Troy and FIU. No wait, it will be Miami (OH), USF and Appalachian State, all at Gainesville.

Finally, the Florida-SEC love fest is about to be put to rest. Tebow will graduate, Meyer will most likely leave for South Bend and certain SEC teams will continue to schedule weak, meaningless games out of conference that will eventually come back and derail the SEC train.

Hope your team wins this weekend. Until next time.